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| The Last 7 Joke-A-Day Sent By E-mail. |
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Category: Sex Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
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Category: Sex Jokes Three guys had just been released from prison and were really kinky. They saw this beautiful woman as they were walking in the woods. Each of them had sex with the woman. Unfortunately, the woman was part of a tribe and the tribe Chief captured the three men and made a bargain with them. He said, "If the three of your penises together measure twenty one inches (or more) we will not kill you but let you go free.” They took the first guy and he measured 15.5inches. They took the second guy and he measured 5 inches. Finally they took the third man and he was with them for a few hours and he measured .5 inches. The Chief released the men because they together measured twenty-one. On the way home they were bragging to each other. The first man said. You guys are really lucky for my fifteen and a half inches. The second man said that they were really lucky for his five inches. The third man said. “You guys are lucky that I had a bone!”
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Category: Lawyer Jokes
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
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Category: Body Parts This guy walks into a bar and takes two steps in; he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck", he says, "I really want a drink. “When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. “All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because "It really satisfies. “The customer looks dumb founded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fellow proudly replies, "Cause it takes a licking' and keeps on ticking!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fellow on his right, who is sipping a fruity margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job 1."Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately? “Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is Secret. Now give me my beer. “The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why secret? “The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."
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Category: Marriage Jokes
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
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Category: Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny was watching T.V. and he heard people talking about politics. So he asked his dad "what are politics?” The dad says, "Johnny, let me tell you what politics are in my own words. Since I am the breadwinner of the family I am the capital. Since mommy deals with all the bills and taxes she is the government. Nanny is the working class since she takes care of you, you are the people and Danny (little brother) is the future." Then Johnny goes off and that night he hears Danny crying. So he goes in the room and notices that he pooped in his pants. Then he goes to his mom's room and she is ignoring him and telling him to go back to bed. So then he goes to the nanny’s room and finds his dad screwing her, so he leaves them alone and just forgets about Danny's poop in his pants. The next morning Johnny tells his dad what politics are in his own words. "Daddy, Daddy, I understand completely what politics are now. When the government is ignoring the people, the Capitol is screwing the working class and the future is in deep shit.
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Category: Bar & Drinking Jokes
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
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Date created May-17-2001
