Category: Redneck Jokes

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a 'redneck' joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs. and a redneck. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and a redneck. The fella next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and a redneck. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The first guy says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."

Category: Clinton Jokes

Hilary is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened. She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!! How could you?!

I just found out I am pregnant and it is your fault! How could you??? What have you got to say???"

There is nothing but silence on the phone. She screams again: "CAN YOU HEAR ME???

Bill's quiet voice comes on in a barely audible whisper..."Who is this?"

Category: Elderly Jokes

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all dishevelled and he looked needy.
Can I help you?" the madam asked.
I want Natalie," the old man replied.
Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."
No, I must see Natalie."

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again demanding Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts... it was still $1,000. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later.

When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row... where are you from?"

The old man replied, "I am from Minsk."
"Really?" replied Natalie, "I have a sister who lives there."
Yes; I know, said the old man. She gave me $3,000 to give to you."

Category: Blonde Jokes

A Brunette a Blonde and a Red head are all in the third grade,
who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde,she's eighteen.

Category: Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny goes to school on day and his Dad tells the teacher Johnny has a gambling problem and might bet the kids for their lunch money. The teacher said, "I can handle it." Well later that day Johnny’s Dad gets a call from Johnny’s teacher. "I think I've cured Johnny’s betting problem, said the teacher. "How?" Asked Johnny’s Dad. "Well he bet me ten bucks there was a mole on my ass and, I took him to the teachers lounged and showed him there wasn’t one there; and took the ten bucks." "Damn, he bet me fifty bucks he would see the teachers ass before the day was through."

Category: Bathroom Graffiti

You are holding your future in your hands, shake well after use and keep out of reach of children.

Category: Religious Jokes

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the small New England town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and idly chatting about their lives, their families, etc., when suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.  Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Everyone quickly evacuated the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
 Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Do you not know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
 Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
 Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried,
"Why aren't you afraid of me?"
 The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 31 years."