Airplane Jokes
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A mother and her young curious son were flying Southwest Airlines from Las Vegas to Chicago. The boy sitting by the window turned to his mother and asked, “If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don’t planes have baby planes?” The mother was caught by surprise and couldn’t think of an answer so she tells her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant the same questions.
The flight attendant responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me that?” The little boy said, “Yes.” “Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you.”
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. “Tray-up, Bitch."
A gay going through the inspection terminal tells the guard, "Heavens, Sir! I could be a terrorist! I demand a full cavity search!!!"
A flight attendant was transferring flights of a queue of people whose plane had been cancelled. Suddenly a man pushed to the front of the line and angrily said 'I need to be on the next flight and it has to be 1st class'
'I'm sorry sir, but you will have to wait until I deal with these people' she replied
'Do you know who I am?' He snapped back.
The flight calmly picked up her microphone and clearly, so that the whole terminal could hear, said 'there is a man here at desk 14 who doesn't know who he is. Is there anyone who would be able to help him?'
'F*** you' he said angrily.
'I'm sorry, sir, but you will have to wait in line for that too'