An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.
The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
A patron in a Montreal café turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
“This is an outrage,” he complained. “The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.”
“But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.”
“Wait a minute.” Roared the patron. “The other tap is also marked C.”
“Of course,” said the manager. “It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city”
Imagine you are a news photographer in the Middle East when a terrible flood strikes.
You set out in a boat with your camera to find a prize-winning picture, when you see Osama Bin Laden hanging from the branch of a tree.
"Help me", he calls. "I can't hold on any longer".
There is room in your boat, and if you don't help him he will drown.
You have a dilemma, and this is the question you have to answer:
What lens do you use?
A man after his citizenship is given a quizzed by an immigration officer: "use the words green, pink, yellow, and hostess to pass and receive the citizenship" The man thought and thought and finally said, "The telephone went green, I pink it up and said yellow hostess