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[63] Kids & Family Jokes

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SpicyJokes.com # 2548
Thanks to: Melanie - Kahuku - HI - USA.
rec.:10/12/2001    pub.:10/14/2001    Sent:3/16/2015
Ranking: 3.88 / 537
 
OR

There's a little boy in Ms. Hill's class named Rodger, and he's a little raunchy. One day Ms. Hill goes, "Would anyone like to guess what's red and round?" Rodger raises his hand and says,” A red ball." "No, it's an apple," says Ms. Hill, "but I like the way you think." Then she says, "What's orange and round?" Rodger says,
"An orange ball." "No, it's an orange, but I like the way you think." Then Rodger says, "I got one for you, Ms. Hill. What's long and pink?" Ms. Hill looks stern and says, "Rodger, that is unacceptable in my class!" Then Rodger says,
"Actually, it's an eraser, but I like the way you think!"

 

SpicyJokes.com # 137
Thanks to: Anna Harris - USA.
rec.:5/28/2001    pub.:5/28/2001    Sent:6/28/2014
Ranking: 4.06 / 370
 
OR

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, ‘where’s Mom and dad?' and she replied, 'they're up in bed ' so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma 'where's Mom and dad?' and she replied 'they're still up in bed ' and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.
Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma 'where's Mom and dad?' and his grandmother replied 'they're still up in bed' and the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked 'what's wrong? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here? The little boy replied, 'well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue instead.'

 

SpicyJokes.com # 402
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/21/2001    pub.:6/21/2001    Sent:3/24/2015
Ranking: 3.79 / 323
 
OR

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, that were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!" The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is god?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is god?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?" At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it"

 

SpicyJokes.com # 101
Thanks to: Artemisa Merlet - USA.
rec.:5/22/2001    pub.:5/22/2001    Sent:10/16/2015
Ranking: 3.71 / 315
 
OR

A boy comes home from school one day with a question on his mind, and goes to his father for an answer. "Father," he asks, "what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" His father is thoughtful for a moment, and then replies, "Well, I'll tell you what, son. Go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with the mailman for a million dollars."

The boy is confused, but follows his father instructions, and proceeds into the kitchen. When he returns, he tells father, "She said she would, Dad..." His father again looks thoughtful, and so the boy asks, "Now will you teach me the difference between potential and reality?"'

The father says, "I will, son, but first, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the mailman for a million dollars." The boy is even more puzzled, but does as his father says. After he return from his sister's room, he says, "Yes, dad, she said she would sleep with the mailman for a million dollars. Now will you teach me the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father looks up at his son, and says, "Alright son, think about this: Potentially, we've got two million dollars, but realistically - we're just living with a couple of sluts."

 

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Date created May-17-2001

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