A man, having some time to kill, visited the local zoo.
He was fascinated by a Gorilla cage that had a sign reading, 'This is the smartest Gorilla in captivity. He is a perfect mimic. Anything you can do, he can do'
Always one to accept a challenge, the man scratched the top of his head. The Gorilla did the same, exactly.
The man tickled his ribs. Gorilla followed suit.
The man then placed a finger under his eye and dragged it a little downward. The Gorilla went nuts. He bent the bars of the cage, dragged the man inside and beat him nearly to death. The keeper spotted it in time and pulled the man out and sent him to the hospital.
The zoo administrator visited the man and asked what he had done to the Gorilla. The man was outraged and explained that he did not do anything to the Gorilla, just followed the sign.
After describing all his actions, the zookeeper said that the action of dragging down the eye was, in Gorilla sign language, a grievous insult (it was the same as 'screw you!'), so the Gorilla reacted naturally.
The man was not happy with this and, for the 3 months he was in the hospital, he plotted a way to get revenge...
He got out and purchased a straight razor and large salami.
Hiding these, he went to the gorilla's cage and repeated the first 2 actions he had used before (scratched head, tickled ribs) and the gorilla, as before, copied them perfectly.
The man then stuck the salami between his legs and sliced it in half with the razor...
The Gorilla placed a finger below his eye and dragged it down.
Q. How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?
A 15, (10) little pigs, (2) calves, an ass, a beaver, and a fish nobody can find
Q: What did the horny toad say to the frog?
A: Rub it; Rub it!
This dude was walking through a swampy forest, when he came across a baby alligator tangled in some roots. Seeing how the little alligator was struggling, he set it free. The ground shook and out came a huge alligator, big as a house, with a crown on his head and said, "I'm the king of the alligators, you saved my son and I shall grant you one wish". The man said, "Ok, make my dick so long that it reaches the ground. The alligator king snapped his jaw twice, and bit his legs off.