A guy walks into a bar in Oklahoma and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"
The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
Q: How do you get a squirrel to come to you?
A: Show him your nuts
A koala bear decided to walk into town to find a prostitute and have a
little fun. After a night of sex at a local motel, the koala bear decides
to go down on the hooker one last time before he leaves. Feeling content,
the Koala bear starts to head out the door, only to be stopped by the
prostitute. "Hey there Mr. Koala bear! You just canít leave without paying
me!" Puzzled, the Koala bear asks what she means. "You see, I am a
prostitute . . . here let me show you." The hooker takes a dictionary out
of her purse and finds the word prostitute. -- Prostitute, one who has sex,
and gets paid --. "I see", says the Koala bear. "Let me see that."
The bear thumbs through the dictionary and finds Koala Bear.
--Koala Bear, one who eats bush and leaves --!
A new recruit joins the French foreign legion, after 6 months he is desperate for sex. He asked an old member, "What do you do for Sex around here?"
The man replied, "We use Doris."
"Who's Doris?" The man replied, "Camel in stable." The new recruiter said, "Yuk I'm not that desperate."
After a year, he can't take it any more. He walks to the stable, grabs a stool and starts humping the Camel. In walks an Old member and looks disgusted. "Uh you pervert, we use Doris to ride to the Brothel!"