A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than
the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides
to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a
ticket. So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks. “Just Fred," the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that
he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut
case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred
Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time.
So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got
older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college,
medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree, so I was
Fred Dingaling, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to
school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got
my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. I got bored doing
dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD.
So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out
about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD
with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS
because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as
Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my dingaling so now
I'm just Fred."
......... The officer walked away in tears laughing so hard and tore up the ticket.
In a hurry to get somewhere the lady was doing 75 in a 55mph zone. A State Patrol stopped her. He walked up to her car and asked, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "Because you wanted to sell me tickets to the State Patrolmen's Ball?” she replied. "State Patrolmen don't have balls", he said...then realizing what he had just said...he let her go!
A Police Officer Just pulled over a man for going 120mph. The police officer has had somewhat of a boring day, so he is excited about being able to a least give a ticket to some one...
The police officer says: "I’ve been waiting for you all day long"
The guy in the car says: "Well, I got here as quick as I could!"
Early one morning, a rookie cop was on radar duty under a bridge, when he observed a red Corvette, traveling at a ridiculous speed. Upon pulling the car over he asked the driver, " What's the hurry, Buddy?" The driver calmly replied, " I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah, what exactly do you do?" asked the Cop.
" I’m a Rectum Stretcher," the driver says. I stick one finger in the rectum, wriggle it around, and then when it's stretched large enough I move on to two fingers and so on until I make the rectum about 6 feet."
" What the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass?” the Cop inquired.
"Well, apparently you give him a radar gun and tell him to hide under a bridge"...