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[63] Political Jokes

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SpicyJokes.com # 22465
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:1/26/2010    pub.:1/26/2010    Sent:5/2/2010
Ranking: 4.00 / 3
 
OR

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

 

SpicyJokes.com # 22694
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:1/3/2011    pub.:2/13/2011    Sent:5/25/2013
Ranking: 4.00 / 3
 
OR

The military spent millions of dollars developing a corrosive chemical which could eat through anything - steel, concrete, even depleted uranium.
When a Pentagon official was asked what they planned to do with it, he replied "I don't know, we have yet to retrieve it"

 

SpicyJokes.com # 21713
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:10/26/2007    pub.:10/30/2007
Ranking: 4.00 / 3
 
OR

Two prisoners talking in their cell, one said to the other, You are getting out soon!" are you going straight or back into Politics.

 

SpicyJokes.com # 22532
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:4/5/2010    pub.:4/5/2010    Sent:9/21/2010
Ranking: 3.67 / 3
 
OR

We were not particularly surprised to learn recently that Democrats generally have more children than Republicans. After all, who ever heard of anyone enjoying a good piece of elephant?

 

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