Letterman's Top Ten List:
Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About "Fahrenheit 9/11":
10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing.
9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election.
8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words.
7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported.
6. Didn't have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger.
5. Of all Michael Moore's accusations, only 97% are true.
4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe
3. Where the hell was Spider-man?
2. Couldn't hear most of the movie over Cheney's foul mouth.
1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodge ball.
Q. What's the difference between a politician and a pimp?
A. I don't know either
One sure fact is that you can always get the truth from a politician after he has turned seventy - or given up all hope of becoming president.
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.