Two blonde guys are driving a car on a very hilly road. They get to the top of a very high steep hill and they start going down it very fast. The guy driving says "Oh my God! The brakes don't work!" The guy in the passenger seat says "don't worry, there's a stop sign at the end of this hill."
This old couple lives in a cottage in front of an old country road with many potholes. Its 2 o'clock in the morning. It’s pouring rain outside and pitch black. This old couple is sitting up on the sofa watching TV when they hear a knock at the door. The old man goes and answers it. When he opens the door, a blonde appears and asks, "Can you give me a push?" The old man yells,” NO YOU FOOL! IT 2 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!" and slams the door in her face. He storms back to the sofa and his wife asks him who was at the door. The man told her about the blonde and how she wanted a push. The wife says, "Well, when YOU were in need of a push, YOU sure wanted one!" and forces him to go back outside and help the woman. The man goes outside and calls, "Ma'am? Are you still out here?" A voice replies, "Yeah, over here by the swing!"
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt?
It stands for, "Tits Go In Front."
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600
dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to
buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and
decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for$599,no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her
the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. “She’ll read it very slow.