A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue.
Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked; "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"
The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"
One fine morning in the Garden of Eden Adam awakened and looked over to his side only to find that nobody was there to share the beautiful sunrise with. So he called upon God and said to him..... God, Iím tired of being alone, I want a woman. And I want her to cook, clean, sew, massage, and obey my every command........ Then God replied....... Well Adam, thatís going to cost you and arm and a leg....... Adam thought about it for a moment and then said....... What can I get for a rib?
A preacher whose wife was expecting a baby went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, expenses escalated and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said.
Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers;" And the congregation said, "Amen."
A catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi were at a seminar and the Catholic Priest said, "I know according to you religious belief that you are not allowed to eat pork - tell me, have you never eaten pork?"
The Rabbi replied, "I must tell the truth, I did once. Now tell me something. I know that the Catholic Priest have to take the vow of celibacy. Have you never had sex?" The Catholic Priest said, truthfully I must admit that I did once." The Rabbi replied, "It was better than pork, wasn't it??"