Preacher mike decides that he is going to take all of the Sunday school Kids on a camping trip, so he tells all of them next week you guys and girls tell mom and dad you will be gone for the weekend.
The weekend arrives and Preacher Mike has went and gathered up all the kids for the camping trip. As they arrive at the camp site Preacher Mike tells all the kids to set up camp and get the tents erected while he goes and gathers fire wood before night fall...As preacher mike is walking through the woods collecting fire wood he hears twigs snapping and some heavy foot steps, when he turns and looks to his surprise he notices that a big grizzly bear is following him and he drops the fire wood and takes off running and the bear starts running after him, and the whole time he is running he is praying to God, saying God please don’t let this bear hurt me or kill me let this be a religious bear while continuing to run he is still praying the same thing over and over again god please let this be a religious bear and he trips over a fallen log lying on the forest floor, and as he rolls over and looks he sees the bear right in his face, long teeth showing and growling and then Preacher mike says his final prayer and says God please let this be a religious bear.....And then the Bear says Dear God We thank you for this gracious meal we are about to receive and bless it to the nourishment of my body and Christ name Amen
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.
The atheist's life was good: he had a well-paying job, a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured. The pious man's job was strenuous, his wages were low and his wife and children ignored him every. So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honor you every day. I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity.
Why is this?" And a great voice was heard from above, "Because he does not bother me all the time!"
Tony goes into a confessional and says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”
The priest says, “Is that you, Tony?”
“Yes, Father it is I.”
“Who was the woman you were with?”
“I cannot tell you, Father for I do not wish to ruin her reputation.”
“Was it Lisa?”
“No, Father.” “Was it Lorna?” “No, Father.” “Was it Susan”? “No, Father.”
“Very well, Tony. Go say five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys.”
Tony goes back to his pew, and his buddy Tim slides over and asks,
“What happened?” and Tony says, “I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys, and three good leads.”
A little boy was attending church with his mother when he suddenly turned to his mother and said "Mummy, I feel a bit sick". His mother replied "Don't worry dear, just go outside until you feel a better". So he went outside but was back in a very short time and his mother enquired if he was OK. "Yes" he replied, "I found a bowl which said 'For the Sick’!