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[129] Religious Jokes

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Site Search WebSearch
SpicyJokes.com # 20029
Thanks to: Greg Gumina - Birmingham - Michigan - USA.
rec.:9/30/2005    pub.:1/13/2006    Sent:1/23/2006
Ranking: 3.00 / 8

A schoolteacher tried to encourage young students to follow religion, he told them of all the attractions like ice cream chocolates candies Etc. that they will get in heaven if they worship God. Finally he asked who wants to go to heaven? All students raised their hands except one worried little girl. When asked what about you dear don't you want to go to heaven? With a little voice she replied, no, mommy told me to go straight home when I leave school.


SpicyJokes.com # 11592
Thanks to: mae edwards - USA.
rec.:12/23/2002    pub.:5/29/2003
Ranking: 2.55 / 11

Every morning a woman goes onto her front porch shouting, “Praise the Lord!” This makes the nonbeliever next door very angry. One morning, down on her luck, she asks the Lord to send her food and again loudly praises the Lord. The next morning the food she asks for, is there. And again praises the Lord loudly! The nonbeliever yells I told you there is no Lord; I put the food there to show you this! So again the woman thanks the Lord for the food and for making the devil pay for it!


SpicyJokes.com # 14206
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/20/2003    pub.:6/20/2003
Ranking: 1.82 / 28

Once there was a man who was traveling a long distance. One rainy night he became lost and happened upon an old monastery. He knocked on the door and an old monk admitted him. "Please, sir, I lost my way and I need some place to spend the night." "All right," the monk said, "You can sleep in this room." He led him down a long, dark hallway and showed him into a smal room. "Thank you very much," the weary traveler said. He fell asleep almost immediately, but several hours later he was awakened by a terrible noise. A scream, then a moan, and then a loud crash accompanied by a howl of pain.
This went on for several minutes. The traveler was just about to go get the friar, when suddenly the noises stopped. He told himself to go back to sleep... it was probably just an animal or the wind. In the morning, as he prepared to leave, he questioned the monk about the sounds. "I can't tell you what that was," the monk said. "You'll have to become a monk." Puzzled, the traveler left and continued on his way. Several years later he just couldn't stand it anymore. He had to go back and find the source of the noises. So he went back to the monastery and became a monk. After several years of studying and training, at the initiation service for new monks, he was told what the sounds were. Do you know what they were? Well, I can't tell you. You have to become a monk.


SpicyJokes.com # 14238
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/20/2003    pub.:6/20/2003
Ranking: 1.49 / 55

A nun was outside the hospital room of a sick but recovering little boy when she heard him finishing his bedtime prayer for his mom and dad:

"Thank you St. John the Blacksmith and St. Michael the Dark Angel! Amen."

PS: This is a paraphrased attribution (anon.)


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Date created May-17-2001