Where is baseball mentioned in the Bible?
'In the big inning God created the heaven and the earth.'
A drunken man stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and stands next to the preacher.
The minister notices the old drunk and says: “Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?’
The drunk looks back and says; “Yes preacher, I am sure.”
The minister pushes the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
“Have you found Jesus?” the preacher asks
“Nooo I didn’t!” said the drunk
The preacher then pushes him under the water for quite a while and brings him up and asks: “Now my brother, have you found Jesus?”
“Nooo, I have not Reverend!” says the drunk
The preacher in disgust holds the man under the water for about 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone: “Now, have you found Jesus yet?”
The drunk wipes his eyes looks at the preacher and asks: “Are you sure this is where he fell in???”
Two nuns go into a liquor store and ask for a fifth of Jack Daniels. The clerk looks stun and says, "It is unusual to see nuns buying liquor". The nuns say "It is for Mother Superiors constipation." The clerk seems ok with it so he sells them the fifth of liquor. Several hours later he closes the store and after walking a couple of blocks on his way home, he sees the two nuns laying in the gutter drunken than a skunk. He exclaims, "I thought you said it was for Mother Superior’s constipation". The nuns replied, "It is” because when she sees us she is going to shit!
What do you call a nun who has had a sex change?