A young man with an impotency problem consults with a doctor. After several visits and nothing happening the doctor sends him to a hypnotist. The hypnotist puts the young man under and after giving him instructions awakens him. The hypnotist tells him when he says the words; one, two, three, he will have an erection. The young man asks him how to make the erection go down. The hypnotist says just say one, two, three, four and it will subside. There is just one side effect and that is you won't be able to get an erection again for at least ten months. The young guy immediately goes to a bar and picks up a stunning young woman and they proceed to a hotel where he gets the very best suite for $200.00 a night and orders in champagne at $150.00 a bottle.
They proceed to get undressed and the excited young man says the magic words "one, two three. “Immediately he has an enormous erection, which the girl admires and asks him "why did you say one, two, three for?"
A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his
A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash
your face and hands."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and
The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so
marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped
back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of
the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the
bedclothes and announced,
"Nothing wrong with them!!!"
At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, "Are my test
This guy walking on the street ran into this pretty woman and said. “I bet I can drop $500 on the ground and f…. you before you can pick it up.” The woman calls her friend to tell her about it. The friend says; set him up when he drops the money just pick it up and run. So the woman tells the guy, “The bet is on.” A few minutes go by and the girls friend calls her back to find out how did it go. The woman says, “The asshole didn't tell me he had $500 in quarters.”
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.""Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians.
And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."