Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

This is a place to spill your guts....
Not a place to bust your nuts.........
So keep it nice and keep it neat......
And find another place to beat your meat....

Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

Here I sit broken hearted,
paid a dime and only farted,
next time I'll take a chance,
save my dime and shit my pants.