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[52] Computer Jokes

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SpicyJokes.com # 20325
Thanks to: Anonymous
rec.:1/11/2006    pub.:1/20/2006
Ranking: 3.67 / 6
 
OR

Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

 

SpicyJokes.com # 24
Thanks to: Pat Bennet - USA.
rec.:5/16/2001    pub.:5/16/2001
Ranking: 2.21 / 19
 
OR

Ab woman walked into a computer shop, spotted a display of mouse pads, then asked the salesperson if they were Mac.
compatable.

 

SpicyJokes.com # 347
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/19/2001    pub.:6/19/2001
Ranking: 2.10 / 21
 
OR

Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

 

SpicyJokes.com # 327
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/18/2001    pub.:6/18/2001
Ranking: 2.50 / 12
 
OR

The Programmers' Cheer
Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

 

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