T'was the night before Christmas and dancing in his sleigh, was Santa, being very gay! He flew towards London clearly out of his mind; he’d done this many other times, and he was feeling fine! He clattered on the rooftop-straight along the middle; the chimney fell and shattered, he said that hardly mattered and here he took a piddle! He fell down the chimney, hoping for a shag!
He thought he hadn’t really learned, how to be a bender, he was being burned! He jumped out the fire and to the bed he turned. Fresh sex I’ve earned he shouts with quite a lot of glee, but when he burned his trousers he noticed it not there ‘oh shit’ he cries as the woman wakes and stares. ‘I beg you bloody pardon! I’m not shit! Now get here at once you fat, evil, git! ‘But Santa’s lost his penis, it seems I could of dreamed this’ they were his famous words before he burns and bursts! His wife calls back ‘I thought you came to have me!’ Santa calls ‘Look! See I have no dick! You fuckin prick! So now I’ll say goodbye!’
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Who's there ?
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas
What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake