Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.
One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.
The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."
Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished. One of the nuns spoke up, "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird." After saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.
Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear, and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot's house. They peeked at the bird.
At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Straight, Curly!"
A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo she took the seat right beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. I really shouldn't be discussing this with you; I don't even know your name!
Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos. But my friends call me Paddy."
There were 3 little Italian ladies sitting in the park. The first little Italian lady said, “my son is a priest and when he walks in the room everyone says Oh Father." The second little Italian lady said, “My son is a bishop and when he walks in the room everyone kisses his ring." The third little Italian lady just sits there while the other ladies ask her what her son does. She said, “well I don't want to hurt your feelings, but my son is a stripper and when he walks in the room everyone says OH MY GOD!"
An old couple walks into the bar, and the husband goes over and starts flirting with some young women. And the bartender ways to the wife, “Doesn’t it bother you that your husband is always making passes at the younger women around here?”
“No, no, not really,” the wife says. “I mean, dogs chase cars, but that doesn’t mean they know how to drive.”