A woman visits a very posh Persian-rug store. She spots the perfect rug, walks over to inspect it, and as she bends down to feel the texture, she rips a giant fart. She looks behind her to see if anybody heard it, and all seems fine, but when she turns back around, there’s a salesman standing next her. She says, “Umm, how much does this rug cost?”
The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted just from touching it, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”
Don't interupt people
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and
go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt
Jane in a passionate embrace.Little Johnny found this so exciting that
he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his
"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into
the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt
Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane
helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.
I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." !
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story,
"I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods
with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving
Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane
and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill
used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Moral of this Story:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.
A guy and a woman were near a swimming pool. The guy was playing with a ball, & the woman was using a lipstick. They both dropped their thing in the swimming pools at the same time. They decided they would go and find them. The woman grabbed the guy's penis, and the guy grabbed the woman's breast. They both thought that they found their stuff.
One ovary says to the other ovary, “Hey, did you order any furniture?”
The other says, “No, why?”
“There are a couple of nuts trying to shove an organ in.”