A wise man once said that for a man to be happy, he must:
1)Find a woman who cooks well and knows how to keep the house neat and tidy
2)Be able to exchange conversation with a woman that is at the same level as he is, intellectually speaking
3)Be satisfied with his partner in bed
4)Find someone who shares his dreams, visions triumphs and even failures in life
5)Make sure that these four women don't know each other.... :)
The hostess of her bridge club got a last minute call from one of the players that she was sick. Unable to get a replacement on such short notice, she drafted her husband, a mediocre player with an attitude.
During the game, he got up and went to the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. Everyone listened as he urinated into the toilet.
Embarrassed, his wife called out, "John, would you please close the door!"
John's partner said, "Never mind, it's the first time since we started playing that I've known what the man has in his hand!"
We know stuff about tanks
A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
We can open all our own jars
We can go to the bathroom without a support group
We can leave a motel bed unmade
We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
Wedding plans take care of themselves
If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend
Underwear is $10 a three-pack
If you are 34 and single nobody notices
Three pair of shoes are more than enough
We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming
Car mechanics tell us the truth
We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
Same work-more pay
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends
Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades
We don't have to shave below the neck
A few belches are expected and tolerated
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room
in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build
her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a
word. So they asked him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to
do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off
my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" ..and she
said, "Wear sun-block."