Category: Entertainment Jokes

The man was in the Turkish bath when he looked up and saw someone stealing his clothes. He took off after the robber with only a felt fedora for cover. As he turned the corner he bumped into two girls who looked at him and burst into laughter. “If you were ladies,” he said angrily, “you wouldn’t laugh at a man in my circumstances.”
“And if you were a gentleman,” said one, “you’d raise your hat.”

Category: Lawyer Jokes

The lawyer was advising his pretty client. “When we go to court I want you to wear a short skirt.” “But they are not in style,” she protested. “Do you want to be acquitted?” asked the lawyer. “Or do you want to be in style.”

Category: Business & Work Jokes

“Have you entertained my position,” the boss asked his new secretary.
“No,” she said. “But your proposition entertained me.”

Category: Political Jokes

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.