Category: Entertainment Jokes

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone-anyone and I know them." Tired of his bragging, his boss decides to call his bluff, "Ok Dave, How about Tom Cruise?" "No drama boss, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and Knock on Tom Cruises door.... Sure enough Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave? What’s happening? Great to see you, come in for a beer!"
Although impressed, his boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruises house, he tells Ian that he thinks Dave's knowing Tom Cruise is just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else." Dave says
"President Bush" His boss quickly retorts. "Yup, old buddies" and off they fly to Washington. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is much shaken by now but not totally convinced and expresses this to Dave on their way out. Dave once again implores his boss to name someone else.
"The Pope," His boss replies "Sure" Dave replies, "My folks are from Poland, I’ve known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in the Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Popes eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And off he goes....
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave appears on the balcony with the Pope, but by the time Dave returns, he finds his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side Dave asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, and “Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave”?

Category: Bathroom Graffiti

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

Category: Doctors Jokes

After a heart-transplant operation, the patient was receiving instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied tobacco, and advised to get at least eighth hour’s sleep a night. Finally, the patient asked, “What about my sex life, Doc? Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?”
“Just with your wife,” responded the doctor. “We don’t want you to get too excited.”

Category: Elderly Jokes

An elderly man visits a doctor for a checkup. "Mr. Smith, you're in great shape," the doctor tells him when the exam is over. "How do you do it?" "Well," says the patient, "I don't drink, I don't smoke and the Good Lord looks out for me: For weeks now, every time I go the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns on the light for me." Concerned the doctor heads out to the waiting room, approaches Mrs. Smith and tells her what her husband said. "I don't think that's anything to worry about," she says. "And on the bright side, it DOES explain who’s' been peeing in the fridge.