A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house.
While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, ‘Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?'
The kid says, 'Daddy told me you were a self-made man. 'I am.'
'Well, why did you make yourself like that?'

A lady walks out of a gym all happy, and admiring her body when she turns to her husband and says, "I think I lost 5 pounds!" The husband puzzled asks her to turn around; he sighs and says "Honey, I just found them."

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry her!

Doesn’t have the brainpower to toast a crouton