A candidate brought a dice into the examination hall for MCQ. He started tossing the dice to select his answers. The superintendent just gave a glimpse at his candidate as he passed by since it is common to have students trying their luck. Very soon the candidate finished his whole paper and slept on his table. Half an hour later the candidate sat up and started tossing the dice again.
The superintend felt curious and approached the candidate.
Superintendent: 'Gentleman, why are you tossing the dice again since you've already finished all the questions earlier on?'
Candidate: 'Sir, my mom said that I have to double check my answers.'
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Philosophy degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
During class, a teacher was trying to teach good manners.
The teacher asks the students:
"Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Just a minute, I have to go piss."
"That would be rude and impolite!!! What about you John, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table. And you Peter, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
" I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."
The Teacher was very curious about Christmas and how people celebrated this Holiday.
She asked young Patrick Murphy, “Tell me Patrick, what do you do at Christmas Time?"
"Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings then all exited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys."
That's very nice, Patrick.
"Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?"
"Well Miss, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing Carols, we get home ever so late. We put biscuits and mince pies by the chimney and we hang up our stocking. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our Presents."
That's very nice Jimmy.
"Now Isaac Cohen, What do you do at Christmas?"
"Well it's the same thing every year, Dad comes home from the office, he opens the electric garage door, we all get in to his Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory, we go inside and look at all the empty shelves, and Dad Says "Thank God for Jesus Christ " and then we all go to the Bahamas."