The Little Boys' Room

There are 2 guys. The first guy walks in the bathroom and notices another guy already occupying a stall. As guy 1 does the dirty work and proceeds to wash his hands, he hears the strangest dialogue coming out of guy 2's stall: "Okay, Johnny, don't get any on your hands." "Okay, Johnny, actually get it in the bowl." "Okay, Johnny, now flush." After a few more minutes of this, guy 2 walks out and proceeds to wash his hands. Guy 1 was eavesdropping and couldn't help but wonder, "Hey, sir, where's your kid?" Guy 2 replies, "What kid?"

The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?"
"Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. “Look Miss,” said the foreman, “have you any actual experience in picking lemons?” “Well, as a matter of fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking; older retired airline pilot in his sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired pilot and asks, "Can you top that?" The tough old pilot replies, "No problem, just get that stupid lion out of the way.