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[135] Bar & Drinking Jokes

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SpicyJokes.com # 16585
Thanks to: Dan Erickson - Pekin - Illinois - USA.
rec.:2/10/2004    pub.:2/12/2004    Sent:4/24/2015
Ranking: 3.96 / 26
 
OR

A good man Rich, was with his friends having a contest to see who could make the best drinking toast. He hoisted his beer and said "Heres to the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!" And that won him the prize that night.
He went home and told his wife that he won the prize for the best toast. And she said "What was your toast. Not wanting to get in trouble he said "Heres to spending the rest of my life sitting in church beside my wife.
The next day she ran into one of his buddies in the street. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Rich won the prize the other night with a toast to you Nicole."
She said, "So he did, and I was a bit surprised myself! You know, he's only been there twice. Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

 

SpicyJokes.com # 318
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:6/18/2001    pub.:6/18/2001    Sent:8/24/2013
Ranking: 3.10 / 63
 
OR

A woman walks into a tavern, sits up at the bar and orders a Pilsner. She drinks it down and then "BAM" she passes out. The regulars not being ones to miss an opportunity, take her into the back room and have sex with her, then prop her up in the alley.
The next day the same woman comes in, sits at the bar and orders a Pilsner. BAM she passes out and the boys take her into the back room again and have sex with her, then put her into the alley.
The third day the same woman walks in and sits at the bar, and the bartender says "would you like a Pilsner today"? She replies "No more Pilsner, make it a draft, that Pilsner makes my pussy sore".

 

SpicyJokes.com # 6521
Thanks to: Christine - Ohio - USA.
rec.:3/5/2002    pub.:5/22/2003    Sent:11/10/2014
Ranking: 3.79 / 29
 
OR

There was this woman sitting at a bar and all the guys were looking at her, but finally one had the balls to come up and talk to her. This redneck guy comes up to her and says to her "Ma'am I just like to tell you that you are going home with me tonight." She tells him " I will if you can make a rhyme that is better than mine." Then she starts to recite her rhyme "I sent my Pussy out to sea, can you bring it back to me?" The guy looks at her stunned like. He walks away with shame. Then after a while there is this Cowboy that walks in to the bar and the first thing he does is tell the woman that he would like to take her home with him. She says " I will go home with you under one condition." Curious the man asks what it is. She tells him that she will go home with him if he can make a better rhyme than hers. She recites her verse. "I sent my pussy out to sea, can you bring it back to me." After a long time of processing the rhyme he tips his hat and proceeds to out rhyme her. He says, " With this hat I'll make a boat. With my balls I'll make it float. With my dick I'll make an Oar and Row your pussy back to shore."

 

SpicyJokes.com # 16819
Thanks to: Lonnie - Kansas Citty - Missouri - USA.
rec.:2/25/2004    pub.:4/15/2004    Sent:3/10/2015
Ranking: 3.82 / 28
 
OR

Here's to the girl that I kissed last.
She didn't kiss slowly nor did she kiss fast.
But she kissed so long and she kissed so sweet.
She made things stand that had no feet.

 

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Date created May-17-2001

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